Yesterday one of my favorite bloggers wrote a fantastic post on Intuitive Eating and what it means to her. She states that IE means something different to everyone, and I totally agree with her. This got me thinking though, what does IE really mean to me?
I actually sat down and read the whole IE book a few months ago (I had read snippets and pieces written by bloggers inspired by the book) and while I do love the overall message, some parts irked me. But really, I think this is because Intuitive Eating is different for everyone and some of the things the authors wrote didn't hit home with me, while many things did.
Below are the main things about Intuitive Eating that have really struck a chord with me and have become the foundation on which I am building my health and further, my happiness.
Honoring Your Body's Signals
For so long, I would tell people - I never get full, I am always hungry. I had no idea what it was like to feel actual hunger or fullness because in my yo-yo diet/disordered eating patterns I was in a perpetual state of hunger until eating became necessary, and I would almost always overeat if not spiral into a binge. It always felt so animalistic and I was so ashamed of my behavior. I knew that my body was taking over and not letting my mind tell me to stop eating. Intuitive Eating taught me that I can get back in touch with my hunger signals, and slowly I am building on this. It's a long road from being hungry all the time and not full until in tears to eating in a regular manner, but I am slowly make progress both forward and backward - I consider both directions progress though.
This also is where getting active comes in. I feel cleaner and more at peace when I have had a good sweat, so I aim to do this at least once a day in a way that doesn't bother me. Yoga, I believe, is the yang to Intuitive Eating's ying: it teaches you to move your body in a way that feels right for your body, and also to really listen to what your body is telling you - just like IE.
Sleep is also key for me. I cannot ever deprive myself of sleep if I want to feel good and happy - I simply cannot function without at least 8 hours of sleep. Don't get me wrong, I struggle with sleeping (falling asleep and staying asleep) so it doesn't always happen for me, but I choose to make sleep my number one happiness priority.
Getting to the Bottom of Your Negative Self-talk and Turning it Around
I believe negative self talk is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. I do believe in being critical and evaluating yourself truthfully, but negative self talk is really just bullying yourself in a mean and unproductive way. I negatively self-talked myself to death for so long that the patterns of thinking became worn in my brain. Usually it went "I'm fat and ugly and no one likes me" or something like that. It became my mantra that I would tell myself whenever I felt bad.
When I realized that I want to do everything in my power to be happy, negative self-talk was one of the main things I knew had to go.
So firstly, I took a look at why I was saying these things to myself. Somewhere in my childhood or teens, when I felt lonely or outcast, I wondered why people didn't respond to me the way I wanted them to, and instead of really taking a deep assessment of myself (such as why do I really need others to complete me or make me happy), I concluded it must be my appearance. And what was wrong with my appearance? Well, I guess I was a little bigger than other girls (which is really just part of growing up!).
After I realized that I had been using the "fat crutch" for all those years, I felt lost and I really had to do some work on myself. In fact, I realized that really it wasn't other people not liking me, it was me not opening up to them.
Next, I had to re-write the script I played in my head for all those years - calling myself worthless and stupid and fat. I became hyper-aware of my internal talk and when negative things popped up I put an end to them immediately saying NO or STOP and switching my train of thought or even countering with something positive about myself.
Now, after doing this for almost a year, I have negative self-thoughts very infrequently, and when I do I usually laugh them off because I realize how silly they truly are.
Finding Your Reason
Maybe you have a child you want to set a good example for. Maybe a loss of a loved one put things in perspective for you. Or maybe, like me, you battle depression, and you want to do everything you can to win those everyday battles. For me that means striving to be my happiest everyday. Some days it's really tough for me, and being my happiest for that day means just getting out of bed. Or some days it means accomplishing all the things I need to do to prepare myself to be happy (like doing chores I hate - but I love a clean house!). Some days it means just relaxing on the couch with Netflix or some books.
But this I do know: I cannot be very happy at all if I am obsessively counting calories, hungry or overly full, or feeling bad/repulsed/guilty about my physical self. These things and everything else that goes along with them degrade my quality of life so much. I want to be happy to try a new restaurant, not scared that I won't know the calorie counts or there won't be anything "healthy" on the menu. I want to be excited to attend a dinner party with friends, not worried that the host might be using too much butter in the recipe. I want to remove all the negativity and worry surronding one of life's essentials: eating. This really isn't all about weight or food to me afterall. It really and truly is about my overall happiness.
